Snobby Cow
by NekyuToi
Summary: What really happened for Garnet to get in that pickle bag? Mild language, and sick, bizzare content, read with caution. Please comment!


**Snobby Cow**

_My first Final Fantasy IX story, and hopefully not the last. The events in this story take place just after Princess Garnet drugged everyone at Cid's Palace thing. P. S. I don't own Final Fantasy!_

The sun was shining in the Western Sky, and Steiner and Garnet walked peacefully along the fresh fields leading to the South Gate.

"You know, Princess. With this bag in my hand full of pickles, I've always wondered what you'd smell like if you rested in them." Steiner said, out of the blue.

"Huh?" was all she could reply. She was a bit stranged out at Steiner's randomness. "Then why don't you try it?" she asked.

"I am too large to fit inside of this bag" he remarked. He tried on purpose to look pitiful, and being the stupid bitch that she is, she fell for it.

"One second, I shall take all of my clothes off."

"Huh,.. what!" he replied, amazed. Garnet slid off her yellow expensive clothes. "You'd do this for me? Thank you your Highness." he thanked her. She nodded, smiled and slid inside the bag.

There was enough room for the skinny twig to fit inside of it, although she remarked how bad it smelt. Steiner was instantly turned on, and pull naked Garnet out of it, snogged her, waited for her to snog him back, then they made love right then and there in the fields, even though she did smell like a pickle factory.

After half an hour of sex, pickle masturbation, pickle feeding while held down, and pickle love, they put all their clothes back on and decided on how to get past the South Gate.

"Come along, Steiner, we must pass South Gate!" Garnet shouted, pointing to the gate.

"Wait, Your Highness, everyone will be looking for you, how will you get past them, might I ask?" Steiner asked. Garnet stood in thought for a while, until her thinking was broken by Steiner, holding a large bag with lots of pickles inside of it. He pulled one out and took a bite, almost gagging at the sweat from Princess Garnet's armpits that had entwined with their taste, and then Garnet came up with a wonderful idea.

"Steiner! I have a plan to get through the Gate!" she said in glee. " I can fit inside that bag full of pickles and you can carry me through, you aren't as important as I, so they shan't be looking for you." she bemused.

"Sure.." he said. "(Snobby bitch)."

"Did you say something?"

"No."

"Then help me get inside the bag; open it!" He did as he was instructed and opened the bag again. She stripped again and jumped inside the bag. He bashed the bag around on the ground while walking towards the South Gate as punishment for her thinking that she was more important than he.

They reached the South Gate, and the two guards that... guarded it.

"Let us through!" Steiner demanded.

"Give us something and will shall." they ordered. Steiner thought for a while..

"I have a naked chick with pickles in every orifice in this bag, and for a peek you must let me through." Steiner said, hoping it would work. The bag kicked him, Garnet was humiliated.

"OK, but I must warn you, pickles make me nauseated." the right guard said. Garnet let out a silent scream upon hearing this. And she was right to do so, because as Steiner flashed her to the guards, the smell of pickes overpowered the right one and he vomited all over Garnet's face, obscuring it, so they could not identify her as the Princess. So it was good and bad.

After they had gotten through and Garnet had been released from the bag, they waited silently together for a train. Just then, Marcus came along and caught sight of her.

"Hey princess!" Marcus shouted.

"Hmph, it's you. I must say, you look awful today. I thank you though, for rescueing me, although as a commoner I guess it's your duty." she replied. Marcus was speechless at her ruthfulness, and decided that he could give as good as he could get.

"Oh, listen to you speaking all posh. The only silver spoon that's been in your mouth was Zidane's, and even he can't love a stuck-up bitch like you!" Marcus hissed. Garnet was speechless.


End file.
